Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Excerpts for Thorneless Tour 12/17-12/26

Long Excerpts


About twenty minutes later, he is turning onto an old gravel road that leads to a large pasture.  He parks the truck and turns off the engine before climbing out and walking out into the field alone.  He crosses his strong arms in front of his body and looks up to the star filled sky above him.  Moments later, I see his broad back begin shaking and realization hits me hard.  He’s crying.  My strong, fun filled adventuresome Lucas Drake is now crying, and it’s all because of me.
I open my door and climb out of the truck and make my way to him.  I stand behind him and wrap my hands around his body.  It comforts me to be near him. We stand like this for a few minutes and I can tell his breathing is slowly returning back to normal.
“You say I treat you like glass.  Maybe that’s true.  But it isn’t because of the reason you think.  Glass breaks, but it also cuts.  Maybe I treat you that way because I’m afraid of being hurt again.  As much as you think you’re broken Skylar, so much of you remains unbreakable.  You think you know me, but you really don’t.   If you did, you’d see what’s right in front of you,” he says before he turns and faces me. The night wind blows my long hair astray and he lifts my face up to look at him.
“You’d see just how much I love you.  Look, Skylar!  Look into my eyes.  I love you!!  I have always loved you! I’ll always love you!  You’re enough for me just the way you are. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and all I’ll ever need.”
With trembling lips he drags his mouth across mine and I taste the perfect sweet blend of our tears.  He wraps his arms around me and I close my eyes to savor this.
“I’m so sorry Lucas.  I’m so sorry!” I say over and over into his chest. And just like that, the dam that has held back all the pain for all of these months breaks, flooding me with everything all at once.  The tears that I can normally shut off, now won’t stop coming. The pain won’t stop stabbing though my body.  I just stand there gripping ahold of his shirt and cry like I’ve never cried before in my life.
“That’s it, baby.  Let it all out.  Let it all go! Let the past go. I’m here now. I’ll always be right here.“

Michael and my father begin talking about football and the stock market, but I don’t hear a damn word they’re saying. My eyes and ears have never left the angel standing across from me. I remain mesmerized watching her dance back and forth with my niece against her chest. I savor their precious interaction with one another and burn the image in my brain. As I watch her smile down adoringly at my niece, I can’t help but imagine her one day holding our child.       
Would our daughter be the perfect miniature version of her? Would our son have her dark hair and blue green eyes? These are the thoughts racing through my mind right now and I silently pray for that to be in our near future.   
“Thank you so much for helping me since it seems my worthless lazy husband isn’t!” Stacey shouts loudly and then sends death glares at Michael.  
“I’m Stacey, by the way. It’s so nice to finally meet you, Skylar! We won’t be long, I promise,” she says as she walks past us with Josh to tuck him in upstairs. She stops beside me when she sees me watching Skylar with the baby.
She covers up Josh’s ears as she leans in and whispers into my ear, “Lucas Drake, if you let that one get away, you’re a fucking idiot!” I shake my head at her and glance back to still see Skylar dancing around the yard with a giggling Avery in her arms. Before her, I never even wanted a relationship, much less marriage. I adore kids, but I certainly didn’t see me as a father. In one moment, in one meeting . . . Skylar changed all of that. All I can see is the beautiful angel that I want to have as my wife and the mother of my children. I’m okay with as many little miniature versions of us as she wants to have.
The door of the antique bar in my office shatters, as I furiously shove my fist through the glass. For the past five years, my father’s favorite bottle of Dalmore 64 Trinitas has sat unopened in that case.  At $160,000 a bottle, the aged Scotch had been my father’s choice of drink.  I had kept it here to remind me of the man I hated and to remind me of the horrific mistake I had made so long ago.
Through the broken glass, I retrieve the bottle of scotch and one of the crystal bar glasses sitting beside it.  Ignoring the bright red blood that now pours down my arm, I blow the broken fragments out of the drinking glass and remove the top off of the bottle.  The strong smell of aged liquor fills the air in my office and I can instantly feel my father right there next to me…. taunting me.
 ‘Go ahead, son. Take that drink! She’s left your miserable ass.  Drink.  Who needs the bitch.  Drink!’
I fill the glass halfway full and lift it up to my mouth. Tilting it back, I can taste the whiskey on my lips.  I want to forget her.  I want this pain to go away.  I have lost her forever and without her, I have nothing.  I don’t want my company or the money. I never wanted any of it in the first place. It had been tainted from the beginning, corrupted from my father’s sweat, lies and deceit.  Right now, all I want is this drink. Right now, all I want is for this excruciating pain in my soul to go away. 
I’m dying. I can’t live without her. I can still feel her sweet touch on my skin. Her intoxicating taste is still on my tongue. My cock still aches to be inside her warm tight folds and coated with her wet release.  She is embedded in me. There is no surviving this.
Is my heart even beating anymore? Please, baby. PLEASE! Come back to me!
‘Drink!  She’s never coming back! You are such a fuck up to the Thorne name! Drink you fucking coward!’
Hesitantly, I open my lips and allow the warm expensive liquid to fill my mouth. My father remains in my head.
Forgetting her will be so easy.  Swallow…just swallow!  Remember? She told you that she can never forgive you. She’s gone. She’s not coming back this time! It’s over! SWALLOW!
But I can’t… I won’t. I spit the dark fluid out, across the wood floor, and then turn to throw my glass against the stone office wall.  I begin violently wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand and then I pick up the bottle of scotch and stare down at it.  If this represents everything I hate, then why do I still have it?  I certainly don’t need any reminders. Those reminders chase me every night in my sleep, as it is.
“Fuck you, Father!”  I roar and with trembling hands, I rare back and toss the bottle against the wall. I stand there and witness the expensive dark brown liquid run down the wall. I wickedly smile knowing just how pissed off that would have made my father. 
Grief stricken, I make my way over to my desk and sit in my large leather chair. I remove her ring from my pocket and stare at the infinity symbol of diamonds. Lightly I trace the delicate jewels around the design. Just like the symbol, my love for her has no beginning or end.  I can’t remember a time not loving her and I will never know a day that I won’t still.
This ring should still be on her sweet elegant finger. 
I glance over at the picture that sits proudly on my desk.  It is the picture of me kneeling down on the beach, as I proposed to Skylar.
The picture of the happiest day of my life!
 Kylie had perfectly captured this beautiful moment and gave it to us when we returned back from our trip.  I think I have looked at it at least a million times since she walked out that door.  What I wouldn’t give to move back time to get this moment back with her.
Sweet Jesus! My soul is being ripped in two!

Short Excerpts
Brushing back the hair from her face, I can’t help but feel the tugging it causes in my chest. She’s my broken angel right now and I will give anything to take away all her pain.  I worry that Sebastian had shattered everything inside of her when he broke her heart.  Because of him, I don’t know if she’ll ever be able to love again.  
What had he done that’s so unforgivable? Had he cheated on her? Had he lied to her about something?  I know he would never lay on a hand on her, but if I find that to be the reason, I’ll fucking kill him.  It just pisses me off that here I am looking at the shell of what once was the most loving, beautiful soul I have ever known.  He did this to her and for that, I’ll never forgive him.  
Yes, right now my gorgeous girl is lost, but I’ll help her find herself.  She’ll learn to laugh and love again.  I just pray that when she finally does, it’s me that she’s loving in the end.   


Ever since the first time I had met him, I couldn’t deny the attraction I feel for him.  His flirtatious and fun personality draws you in and when you throw in his Greek God body and gorgeous face, well, then you’d have to be crazy and blind to not be attracted to that. Lucas is quite the free spirit and is not the 'settle-down-white-picket-fence-and-house-full-of kids-kind-of-guy.'  He loved beautiful women and what those beautiful women could do for him, if you get my drift. It doesn’t matter where we were, women flock to him wherever we go.  It is obvious that many of the women at these events had more than graced his bed a few times over the years.  It is no secret, Mr. Lucas Alexi Drake is quite the international playboy, but he is now my boss and best friend.  But that “best friend” had me starting to feel things that I am not sure about.  I guess it proves that even I am not resistant to his powerful charms. The problem is…I have to be.


“We are friends right?” I say turning to him and revealing the dried black streaks of my tears on my face.
         “Skylar,” he whispers my name with pain in his voice.  I can see the sorrow in his eyes.  He wants to continue, but I don’t give him the opportunity.
         “Then as my friend, I’m asking you to leave me the hell alone.  I don’t need a babysitter tonight, Lucas,” I say as hateful as I possibly can before turning up the shot in my hand. I motion for the bartender to pour me another one and hesitantly he does. After my last drunken episode, I know I will regret this in this morning, but right now that is the least of my concern.
         “Skylar! Stop it! For fuck sake STOP!” He yells and snatches the drink away from me.  The contents pour all over my arm and onto my skirt. I slap my hand down on the top of the bar and shove myself off the stool and glare angrily at him as he stands to face me.
         “What, Lucas?  I’m giving you the night off from me.  Don’t you ever just get exhausted from all of this?  Really you should be happy that I’m helping you out. I am a lost cause, so run while you can!  Believe me, I won’t blame you.  Go find you some girl and have some fun tonight. You deserve it.  Trust me, being celibate doesn’t suit you.
         “Stop it, Skylar!”
         “No! You stop, Lucas! Stop treating me like I am made of glass. I am a broken mess. I am no good for anyone. Not even for myself.“
         “Angel…” He breathes and reaches out for me, but I yank back.
         “I’m not your angel! I’m not anyone’s angel!  Angels are blessings and I am nothing but a curse!” I reply with pain now oozing out of my every word.

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